Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Meet Samantha

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! 

I am about to introduce you to Samantha.  Are you ready?

Did you think I would name my wig?  Well, a girl has to do something to keep her sanity during times like these.  Normally, I never really planned to ever post my picture.  I think I have about one time but I feel the need to share my journey.  I just want someone else to know that I get it. 

As you know, chemo will cause hair loss 99% of the time.  I was holding out to be in the 1% but, alas, it was not to be.  My oncologist had told me that on day 14 is when the hair loss would begin.  It was like my hair had ears and thought I guess I better do as the doc says.  Last Sunday (not Easter Sunday), my hair started coming out.  Of course, I was in denial.  I mean, I never wanted to be in this club.  I hadn't signed up to join but apparently I was being initiated anyways.  It took me until Wednesday to finally tell hubs that he and the kids could finally shave my head.  I guess a sink filled full of hair after only combing it 3 times was the proof I needed.  I needed time to adjust from Sunday to Wednesday.  You know, everyone visually identifies a woman by her hair and her breasts.  For now, I've just lost one of those (with a future replacement of the other).  It was and still can be hard.

Here is the journey to my experience shaving my head.  Here is me and hubby before.  I had to convert to black and white.  I was really trying to keep it together and be strong for the kids but no such luck.  The tears were ready to gush.  Trust me, my face was pretty red.

I have to say that my hubs has been a great source of strength for me.  Here is the kids all excited to shave mommy's head.  I wish I could have shared their enthusiasm.

I don't think the black and white could even hide the tears in my eyes.  Dumb club initiation. 

I had grand plans of showing you a mohawk but the reality is it was hard.  I just told hubby to get it done!  The plus side was I didn't have any divots in my melon.  I was afraid my head was really odd shaped with who knows what kind of discoloration.  It turns out my bald head isn't too bad.  Things could always be worse.

It is amazing how much heat your hair holds in!  Thankfully, I've had 3 hats knitted for me.  I wear them around the house and to bed all the time.  If I come to the door, it might be like this. 

I have to admit, the wig isn't the most fun to wear.  It itches.  Overcoming my thoughts and paranoia took about 4 days of wigging out (yes, the pun was intended).  When Sam and I went out, I felt like people were looking at me and they knew it was a wig and that I looked strange.  I know it was probably all in my head.  I now feel okay just going out in my stylish hats or Sam.  I know my son likes me to wear Sam out with us.  So, here is Sam and I.  I guess I can have a good hair day or a no hair day! 

I just wanted to thank everyone for their positive thoughts and prayers!  Hope you are having a good week!


  1. i think you look very pretty with your head shaved and kinda cute! I love your hat and great choice of wig...sam really suits you! Hang in there .. best wishes, Maryann

  2. Julie, Julie, Julie. Don't you see how beautiful you are with or without the wig? I know I do, and I am sure your whole family does too. Love, love Sam, she really is a beauty. But maybe because of where she gets to sit, you two go together perfectly. I never knew that about how your hair holds in heat, I guess it makes sense. You take care of yourself, do what you need, just remember we are here for you any time you want to share the good or the bad. You are always inspiring no matter what you do.

  3. Your rockin' Sam and that cute fluffy hat is adorable.....B:)

  4. Wow, Julie, you look beautiful! I'm sure I'd be a wreck as well, although I would probably do the same thing. Shave it off before it all just fell out. I think it gives you a little bit of control over a situation where you feel like you have none. I actually love Sam! A good hair day every day! I don't think it looks like a wig in the picture and who cares what people think anyway. Love the hat, too.

  5. Samantha is gorgeous and the knitted hat is adorable too, but you look gorgeous bald too! I truly love the before and after pictures. I am so thankful that God put Kevin in your life to help you through this. Thank you for sharing your journey- you are not alone!

  6. Dear Julie,

    You are beautiful no matter how much or how little hair you have on your head. What strength you are showing your children and what a wonderful life lesson that strength is. You are lucky to have such love in your life.

    Please permit me to tell you a little hair loss story. A few years back, my sister was going through the same hair loss stage as you. Mary Sue was fighting Cervical cancer. During one of her many hospital stays, she was primping and getting ready for her Oncologist to visit her. Mary Sue LOVED her Oncologist who was a real cutie pie. He was fairly young and she got a kick out of flirting with him...all for fun. Mary Sue at this point had lost all her hair because of the chemo she was enduring.
    So as she is sitting up in her hospital bed holding a little mirror and trying to put on some lipstick, she looked at me and said...

    "God has a really weird sense of humor....he takes every freaking (not the actual word used) hair off my body, but he leaves this one *^&$ chin hair that keeps growing and growing!!!! "

    Julie, I never laughed so hard in my life...it was so honest and so true. The lesson here...never stop laughing and seeing the funny side of life. Often that is what will get you through the tough times.

    Much love...hope and prayers being sent to you and your family.

    Janet xox
    The Empty Nest

  7. I'm so sorry. I started crying reading this. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it has been on you. I will be praying that you have a swift recovery. You did great on picking out the wig, it truly does look natural and you are handling it all with such poise and grace and a great sense of humor.

  8. Julie,
    You are doing great! I love Samantha, but the knit hat is even cuter. Kudos to Kevin for doing the shaving. Hang in there.

  9. Julie,

    I join the others and you with tears. Wow, I cannot imagine how emotionally draining and hard that night was. I think you are so brave sharing your journey with us on the blog. If it weren't for the progression of the pictures, I would think the last one with Samantha, (I bet the kids get a kick out a having a nickname for it), was your own hair! You look beautiful.


  10. You look cute in your hat:) Too bad the wig itches because it looks fantastic! It is so real looking you would never know it is a wig. Stay strong...you still look fantastic!

  11. Sam looks great on you!!! Really that is a good looking wig.

    Fight on.

  12. Julie...You are Beautiful..Inside and out...What courage to face this in your life and share with us...
    My prayers...Blessings, Becky

  13. Om my gosh...you are an amazing woman. I would never, ever have known that was a wig. Ever! I think wigs have come a long way since we were kids. My daughters' kinder teacher is only 32 and going through the same thing. She has 3 little kids too. She is finally officially in remission and is doing fantastic!
    I hope you don't think I'm trying to detract from your post, I just know it can make us feel better to know were not going through things alone.
    Hugs to you, pretty girl!

  14. I enjoyed reading your post and you are so strong to share this with us. I like Samantha, but believe me this is the age of wigs; I have so many of them, but never thought to name any, LOL. I'm so accustom to wearing wigs, I can't remember the last time I actually styled and showed off my real hair! I'm now a follower and would love if you could follow me back. Stay strong.

  15. Julie, my friend's daughter just completed her chemo and is about to begin her radiation. She had long, black hair and did just about the same thing as you did -- had her husband shave her head. I cannot imagine going through what you are -- how blessed you are to have such beautiful children and a supportive husband and how blessed they are to have such a courageous mom with a sense of humor :)

  16. Julie, you look great! You have a pretty face and can pull off all of the looks you shared above. Sam doesn't even look like a wig, she's a very pretty wig. You are very strong and brave to have shared this with us, your reads. We're all here for you, hoping and praying for the best outcome.

  17. Dear Julie,
    You are so beautiful in your adorable hat! I love Samantha, but I love you more! You are such a source of strength and your great sense of humor just warms my heart- as I know it does for everyone. As always, I'm inspired by YOU! Nathan and Alaina, my husband, and I are praying for you everyday!
    Love and warm hugs, Allison (from MOPS)

  18. Julie- they are all telling the truth- you look really great with the knit cap, without hair, with Sam - all of it! I am so impressed when I see your smile, in all of these pictures, and it is so genuine. This is not a brave face, you are truly brave. Your family is beautiful, too! I would like Lisa to know- I also laughed. Does she know she was at the start of a very intricate yoga move??? I am looking forward to seeing you when I come home on Memorial Day Wknd. Much love, and talk soon,

  19. Julie - you are a beautiful woman with or without Sam!! Thinking & praying for you & your family.

  20. Julie, you look gorgeous in all of the pics! And Sam looks terrific! Love your sense of humor in such a challenging, difficult and painful time!

  21. You are SO BEAUTIFUL, BALD, that, as lovely as your real hair OR "Sam", or the hat, you could continue having your hubby shave your head indefinitely! Your wonderful SMILE is all the "adornment you need. Keep your FAITH (along with your keen sense of humor)!!!

  22. I love it and it looks very natural. Keep up the good thoughts and vent when needed...I'll be hear listening and commenting. Your newest follower. Liz

  23. YOU look BEAUTIFUL!!! Don't even stress. You are rockin' it!

  24. I define women by that drive and life in their eyes and you definitely have that! you are gorgeous and that vintage scarf we posted and you commented on will look awesome on you! Thanks for the inspiration love!


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