Meet Samantha

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! 

I am about to introduce you to Samantha.  Are you ready?

Did you think I would name my wig?  Well, a girl has to do something to keep her sanity during times like these.  Normally, I never really planned to ever post my picture.  I think I have about one time but I feel the need to share my journey.  I just want someone else to know that I get it. 

As you know, chemo will cause hair loss 99% of the time.  I was holding out to be in the 1% but, alas, it was not to be.  My oncologist had told me that on day 14 is when the hair loss would begin.  It was like my hair had ears and thought I guess I better do as the doc says.  Last Sunday (not Easter Sunday), my hair started coming out.  Of course, I was in denial.  I mean, I never wanted to be in this club.  I hadn't signed up to join but apparently I was being initiated anyways.  It took me until Wednesday to finally tell hubs that he and the kids could finally shave my head.  I guess a sink filled full of hair after only combing it 3 times was the proof I needed.  I needed time to adjust from Sunday to Wednesday.  You know, everyone visually identifies a woman by her hair and her breasts.  For now, I've just lost one of those (with a future replacement of the other).  It was and still can be hard.

Here is the journey to my experience shaving my head.  Here is me and hubby before.  I had to convert to black and white.  I was really trying to keep it together and be strong for the kids but no such luck.  The tears were ready to gush.  Trust me, my face was pretty red.

I have to say that my hubs has been a great source of strength for me.  Here is the kids all excited to shave mommy's head.  I wish I could have shared their enthusiasm.

I don't think the black and white could even hide the tears in my eyes.  Dumb club initiation. 

I had grand plans of showing you a mohawk but the reality is it was hard.  I just told hubby to get it done!  The plus side was I didn't have any divots in my melon.  I was afraid my head was really odd shaped with who knows what kind of discoloration.  It turns out my bald head isn't too bad.  Things could always be worse.

It is amazing how much heat your hair holds in!  Thankfully, I've had 3 hats knitted for me.  I wear them around the house and to bed all the time.  If I come to the door, it might be like this. 

I have to admit, the wig isn't the most fun to wear.  It itches.  Overcoming my thoughts and paranoia took about 4 days of wigging out (yes, the pun was intended).  When Sam and I went out, I felt like people were looking at me and they knew it was a wig and that I looked strange.  I know it was probably all in my head.  I now feel okay just going out in my stylish hats or Sam.  I know my son likes me to wear Sam out with us.  So, here is Sam and I.  I guess I can have a good hair day or a no hair day! 

I just wanted to thank everyone for their positive thoughts and prayers!  Hope you are having a good week!