Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Meet Samantha

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! 

I am about to introduce you to Samantha.  Are you ready?



Did you think I would name my wig?  Well, a girl has to do something to keep her sanity during times like these.  Normally, I never really planned to ever post my picture.  I think I have about one time but I feel the need to share my journey.  I just want someone else to know that I get it. 

As you know, chemo will cause hair loss 99% of the time.  I was holding out to be in the 1% but, alas, it was not to be.  My oncologist had told me that on day 14 is when the hair loss would begin.  It was like my hair had ears and thought I guess I better do as the doc says.  Last Sunday (not Easter Sunday), my hair started coming out.  Of course, I was in denial.  I mean, I never wanted to be in this club.  I hadn't signed up to join but apparently I was being initiated anyways.  It took me until Wednesday to finally tell hubs that he and the kids could finally shave my head.  I guess a sink filled full of hair after only combing it 3 times was the proof I needed.  I needed time to adjust from Sunday to Wednesday.  You know, everyone visually identifies a woman by her hair and her breasts.  For now, I've just lost one of those (with a future replacement of the other).  It was and still can be hard.

Here is the journey to my experience shaving my head.  Here is me and hubby before.  I had to convert to black and white.  I was really trying to keep it together and be strong for the kids but no such luck.  The tears were ready to gush.  Trust me, my face was pretty red.


I have to say that my hubs has been a great source of strength for me.  Here is the kids all excited to shave mommy's head.  I wish I could have shared their enthusiasm.


I don't think the black and white could even hide the tears in my eyes.  Dumb club initiation. 


I had grand plans of showing you a mohawk but the reality is it was hard.  I just told hubby to get it done!  The plus side was I didn't have any divots in my melon.  I was afraid my head was really odd shaped with who knows what kind of discoloration.  It turns out my bald head isn't too bad.  Things could always be worse.


It is amazing how much heat your hair holds in!  Thankfully, I've had 3 hats knitted for me.  I wear them around the house and to bed all the time.  If I come to the door, it might be like this. 


I have to admit, the wig isn't the most fun to wear.  It itches.  Overcoming my thoughts and paranoia took about 4 days of wigging out (yes, the pun was intended).  When Sam and I went out, I felt like people were looking at me and they knew it was a wig and that I looked strange.  I know it was probably all in my head.  I now feel okay just going out in my stylish hats or Sam.  I know my son likes me to wear Sam out with us.  So, here is Sam and I.  I guess I can have a good hair day or a no hair day! 


I just wanted to thank everyone for their positive thoughts and prayers!  Hope you are having a good week!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Put your feet up

Just a quick makeover from last week.  I came across this little stool.  It looked like it needed a good ole' chalk paint makeover.  That is exactly what it got.  I have learned to love chalk paint even more now that my time has become more precious.  I love the fact that there is no prep and the paint dries so fast.  The turn around time is incredible. 

Here is the stool before:



Now, it is all shabbified (I think I just made up a word). 



Would look great for decoration but is really sturdy to use as a step stool.  I'll test it out.  Let's hope I don't report back that I broke my neck using my 'sturdy' stool.

Happy Easter!

Sharing over at:
 
shabby creek cottage  French Country Cottage

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

2 down, 6 more to go!

For those of you who don't want a chemo update, click away.  I promise not to be a Debbie downer.  The fatigue has not hit right now (that will probably be tomorrow).  So right now, I thought I would share a day in the chemo chair.  As you already know, I will be getting chemo every 2 weeks.  After my first treatment, the first week held nothing but fatigue, nothing tasting the same, emotional rawness, fatigue (oh wait, I already said that), and more fatigue.  Now that week was tough!  I can't thank my family enough.  Special props go out to my mother and my mother-in-law!  I couldn't have better family.

Then, I woke up on the first day of week 2 very surprised.  I felt normal.  I took advantage.  After my follow-up doctor's appointment, I made mom meet me for some Mexican food (okay, it was really more American Mexican food) but I could taste it!!  You see the previous week nothing tasted good.  For those of you who don't know, I could drink fountain Coke all day.  The 1st week of chemo, it tasted horrible.  I was desperate to find a drink other than water by the end of week 1.  I went so far as ordering a mountain dew and a Pepsi to see if I could taste that but yuck.  So, while eating with mom I was so excited I could taste a little.  Eevery day of the 2nd week, I took full advantage of this by eating as if I wouldn't be able to taste food again.  Probably not a good idea for the waist line but I needed to give myself a little break.  As the week past, I continued to feel normal!  I tried to cram a lot into last week.

That brings us to my 2nd round of chemo.  Yes, I brought my camera to give you a peek into what I hope you'll never have to experience.  Let's talk about what I call getting plugged in.  Like I have already said, I had a fun (ha!ha!) port installation.  Here is me plugged in, hooked up, ready to kick some a@! and take some names.  (Sorry mom, I will have to give you a quarter for the jar)  Don't I look rough and tough?  I had to bring the prayer shaw given to me by the church connected to my son's school.  I know it detracts from the tough look I was trying for but I felt like being wrapped in prayers was part of my fight.



So, here is where I sit and wait for a half hour for the nausea meds to drop in.  I am lucky to have such a comfy recliner.  I had brought a book, my new ipad (thanks Betty), and magazines.  I couldn't get the ipad to connect.  When the nurse came in, I asked about Wi-Fi.  She smiled and said, "no, sorry.  We just got comcast last year."  What??!!  Well, I guess I've got a comfy chair right.  

So no Wi-Fi, not in the mood for TV, and the nausea meds just made me tired.  Now is where I can introduce you to my chemo buddy for the day, my sister or should I say my personal comedian.


She is trying to impress me with her I can stand on elbows.  I wasn't impressed but did laugh.  What can I say, we were trying to make the best of a not so fun situation.  It was briefly interrupted by the nurse.  We thought we might be getting into trouble but I was ready to get the 1st chemo drug.


 
I read some blog where the person refer to this adriamycin as the 'red devil.'  All I know is I hope it is taking down every last cancer cell.  After 10 minutes, the nurse was done.  She put up my 2nd chemo, cytoxan.  She was so nice.  She laughed at all of our jokes.  She may or may not have thought they were funny.  Who knows?  I suggested to the nurse that maybe me and another patient have a friendly sprint race down the hall with our IV stands.  She just laughed.  Little did she know that we were serious!


Sometimes you gotta do whatever to get through some times.  Okay, it wouldn't be fair.  I never see anyone my age there.  It is usually a more mature crowd.  Apparently, the party in our room didn't get me revoked from coming back!

Two down, six more to go!  I want to throw a big thanks out to my sis/personal comedian!  Hope this may take the scary out of a terrifying experience for anyone that may find themselves in my shoes.
 
Take care!

Monday, April 2, 2012

Just a little table

First, I wanted to give a big thanks for letting me have my big therapy session on my last post.  Last week was great.  I felt normal again.  Sorry for not posting but I fully took advantage of having energy again after the week of chemo had me so run down.  With this normal burst of energy last week, I got busy working on things while I had the energy.  Here enters this little table. 


It was pretty wobbly and  a little worse for the wear.  But with a little glue, chalk paint, and wax, it came out like a little gem.


I mixed a little white acrylic paint in with my Chateau Grey.  I just needed it lighter.  It made it a little thin.  So, I added more Chateau Grey and Old White this time to make it a little thicker.  Ah, just right.  Love the lighter color.  Had to add a little spring vingette.



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