That is what I have been asking myself since the end of radiation. As I was nearing the end of radiation, I began to feel like this is a sort of second chance. This whole experience has made me examine my life (other than when it flashed before my eyes right after the doctor told me I have cancer). I mean I caught this cancer at stage II not IV. They have told me thus far there is no evidence of cancer remaining. I am inclined to believe that I will make it long enough to make my kids tell each other how old and senile their mother is.
I just feel like I need my life to make an impact but don't know where or how to do that. Before all this began, I loved painting furniture and such. Now, it somehow seems less important. Maybe this is a phase. Maybe the big guy upstairs is prompting me. Many survivors volunteer to help others with cancer but I am not sure I can do that now. Too many crazy thoughts creep in my head about reoccurrence. It is pretty taxing trying to figure out what I am suppose to do. I guess I will go the hubs advice, 'just recover, and be a good mother. ' Now, I think I can do that.
So bear with me while I muddle my way through this phase. I have some projects to show but am a little slow sharing these days. Hope you have a lovely weekend!
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A great reminder to focus on what's truly important. Take care and god speed.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I am in the same boat as you... not sure what to do. A bit lost actually.
ReplyDeleteI just completed radiation last week, was stage 2 also and supposed to have no evidence of cancer... I thought of volunteering as well but at this point think it might not be time... I fear of recurrence too often and think that would maybe feed that a bit. I am now in that whole recovery stage of uncertainty. Almost like having to rediscover our new identity...
Hugs.
I, too, feel that way. Although chemo is 5 months over and radiation 3 months over, I am still finding my way. It is having to find a new identity. I feel grateful I am not alone. God has a plan for us. We just don't know what it is as yet. I also find that some things that were of great interest to me before "BC" are now not important. There is a level of excitement about what is yet to come. Thanks for your thoughts, Denise
ReplyDeleteI couldn't believe the timing on this. Today during church the message was all about giving back in response to Jesus love for us. One woman stood up and shared that she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 when her youngest child was in 3rd grade. She is cancer-free today and volunteers with Sisters Hope. She attended this retreat for women that fought breast cancer and now is a facilitator for their weekend retreats to assist other women process her own cancer journey. Sisters Hope is the name of the organization. www.sisterhope.org. Thought someone might want to know about this resource.
ReplyDeleteTracie
I think it's very important that you take the time you need and sort things out for yourself. I read so many blogs and stories and it makes me feel so uncomfortable at times. I really have to remind myself I am a different person than these people and I don't have to deal with it the same way they do. I'm sure you'll find your path!
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